There's not a star in heaven that we can't reeeeaaaacccchhh
Hari Kondabolu tells a feminist dick joke.
So I thought I should let everyone know that I’m in love, no big deal.
excuse me but
this man has impaired my judgement
I will never not laugh at this pun
DON’T DEAD OPEN INSIDE
it sounds like a desperate plea for the wayward carts to come back home
MOM AND DAD LOVE YOU
Okay no. Fucking no. You think your sandwich is cute with peanut butter and jelly hearts, fucker? Well you’ll change your mind once you put it together and try to eat it. First you’ll get a mouthful of just bread and disappointment, then when you take another bite your mouth will be assaulted by copious the amounts of sticky peanut butter and sugary jelly and there won’t be enough bread to save you from it. A sandwich like that is what failure tastes like. The pb and j may be shaped like hearts but there’s no love in that sandwich. It’s about balance. Life needs balance, and so does your fucking sandwich. You disgust me. Don’t talk to me until you know how to make a proper sandwich.
People who say “the customer is always right” have clearly never had a conversation with the customer
dont talk to me about anything unless its this video
You have not lived life until you have eaten a spoonful of pure peanut butter,
Unless you have a peanut allergy,
Then you are living life just fine, and I would advise you to disregard my previous statement.
I AM NEIGH-YONCÈ.
CHRIS EVANS LAUGHING ALONE WITH PIZZA